heart beat going down

this feeling i can't let go because i can't even explain it's not that i wanted to die i just wish i didn't exist in the first place

people's life would be better i wouldn't be the burden that i am i wouldn't make people worry about the things that i feel

i didn't want to feel what i feel sometimes i just wanna be alone in my room, in my own reality with my daydreams with my non existent life a life where everything has at least a reason to things happen

because in real life we have problems and we don't even know why

maybe, just maybe if there was a reason to why i feel this way maybe i could try to make a better life but i can't really find something that makes my heart wishes to be alive